Sabin Duvert

Reason in its own to update journal

2003-11-12T03:54:50Z

Your Ultimate Roleplaying Purity Score
Category	Your Score	Average
Hacklust	28.3% Has conversations in between massacres	53.3%
Sensitive Roleplaying	7.59% There is no player. There is only.... Zuul.	54%
GM Experience	49.28% Puts the players through the wringer	69.1%
Systems Knowledge	75.71% Local rules guru	90.1%
Livin' La Vida Dorka	20.69% Carries dice in pocket 'just in case'	62.8%
You are 41.67% pure Average Score: 68.4%
Take The Ultimate Roleplaying Purity Test and see how you match up!

Interesting Quiz

2003-07-09T02:16:27Z

The Noble Faerie. While you carry a few of the
traits of humanity within you, you still have
an aura of otherworldliness about you that some
find irresistable and others find very
disconcerting. The world is a game; life a
puzzle to enjoy!

What is the Dominant Inner being within You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I enjoyed this quiz - very interesting options.

sabin_duvert @ 2003-06-23T02:38:00

2003-06-23T07:40:59Z

sabin_duvert
Magic Number	17
Job	Writer
Personality	Focussed And Driven
Temperament	What You Lookin' At?
Sexual	Straight
Likely To Win	The World Cup
Me - In A Word	Divine
Colour
Brought to you by MemeJack

Master Hibb's right - this is rather amusing

Quizzles :)

2003-06-20T07:48:08Z

Omae wa dochira anime no
VILLAIN desu ka?
[koyasunomiko.com]

Ohh... I'm not -that- evil.... really ^^; changing one answer I got Akito.

      
                                     moachaen  
                                    93%     
 
  
     pawscat  
                                     87%     
 
  
     sscaminky  
                                    87%     
 
  
     kamiki  
                                     84%     
 
  
 How compatible with me are
                                     YOU?

EEnteresting.

Quizlets of Randomness

2003-06-14T01:53:44Z

You are Koge Pan!

What Popular Asian Stationary Mascot Is For You?
brought to you by Quizilla

That firghtens me.. Not nearly so much as the Scary Panda.... but it's still eerie.... But I guess It could be worse... it could have been Hello Kitty... or... like I said... the evil Pandas.... (They're watching you... waiting for you to let your guard down!)

</table I suppose this fits.

What is my spectrum?

I am red: My main color is red. This means I am goal oriented. Success is important to me. Achievment is the marker of a great life.

What is my spectrum?

Been Too Long

2003-06-09T23:20:02Z

Start off with a quizzle or two

Wolf Furry. ART COPYRIGHT TO: www.redpanda.com
(Sara Palmer)

What Kind of Furry Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Therian: You are human, more or less, but you have
very strong emotion ties to the wolf, and you
share a common spiritual bond with the entire
lupine species.

What Breed of Werewolf are You? (Images)
brought to you by Quizilla

You belong to the un-winged Nephilim!
You are the result of the angels of Heaven smiling
upon the daughters of Eva, though your
existence is offically denied in Heaven. You
often possess great strength in many ways, you
are well respected, though sometimes a little
feared among humanity. You are a born leader
and you posess the capability for great good as
well as for great evil. The choice is yours.

What kind of supernatural being are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Well, those were amusing (And I really like the artist of the furry question.) However, it has been a while since I've actually written a journal update with any substance to it. This, however, is not too surprising - I'm very bad when it comes to things like that.

So... what's been up with me? LOTS of job hunting... and not much results. I've put out a lot of applications and have heard blessedly little back. The thing I think I got closest with was a position with Time Out... however, when I was supposed to get a call back from the district manager (he called me last thursday to schedule an appointment for Friday at 10am...) I never heard back... Did they hire someone already? Did he forget or misplace something? Did he mean a different Friday? (hopefully the last, but I'm skeptical/worried... I might try calling back (the local store) soon.) I think I really fit the qualifications and that might actually be somewhere fun to work.... ironically, when I put in my application and did the interview there, Daniel walked in right after me.... *fighting stance against Daniel* Anyway... The local interview went really well, and the woman said that I was the only one who had ever answered "correctly" to one of the questions... so... we'll see maybe still...

Other than that, I really would like to get a position with another store (information hidden for competition's sake - this city is Far too small and too many friends looking for work, sorry.) Buuut, they said that they've already received over 100 applications, but will be doing interviewing this week... Maybe I have a shot.. I've got a degree, which is good compared to any HS people, or even college people. Plus it's a store I really like, but again, there's lots of competiton. We shall see.

Finally, there's the last choice... Barring everything, and if I get -very- desperate, there's Telemarketing. I know they're hiring. I know I could get a job there.... But, if it weren't bad enough that it is telemarketing (which actually isn't as bad as it could be - it's magazine renewal, not actually selling people somethign they don't want) but it's 7 days a week.... I think that if I didn't get at -least- one day a week off I'd go crazy. AND the work environment looks horrible - its a big room filled with rows of desks, with everyone talking on their own phones at once. No computers. No cubicles to divide you up (and barracade the noise). And it smelled funny. I'm not sure if it was a partially smoking environment (yuck) or if it was just the building. Anyway, it's my LAST choice. Okay, sorry Clint, Next to Last. The "Dirty Sock" is my last choice ;).

Hrmmm... other than those, maybe I'll get a desk job somewhere... maybe...

Other than job hunting, I've been keeping busy. writing emails and letters, playing a lot of Magic (which I really shouldn't have gotten back into,... darn expensive and addictive game.) And been meaning to work more on my story outline... it's going, but far too slowly, I get shinied far too easily. My birthday is also this week - which is cool. Thursday the 12th technically, though mainly going to be actually doing things Sat, for my parents' sake.

A-kon was also a lot of fun this year! I actually did some art commissions, which honestly really helped my opinion of my art. I guess sometimes I feel bad seeing Heather go to town and get lots of praise for her pieces... and she also does a -lot- more color work than I do, which admittedly garnishes more attention. But it is time consuming, and I don't have a stylus... So, doing 4 commissions at the con after-hours (after the artists alley people had left we borrowed tables to work at) really helped ^^ - it was a lot of fun putting peoples' ideas down on paper and seeing their expressions to see their characters come to life was great :). One person even tipped me an extra $5 :D. Now... if I could do this for a living, I'd be set ^^. I'd just have to do 3 a day for $10 each ^^. I wonder how plausable that actually is...

The cosplay was fun, too - we did the chocobo skit that we had meant to do last year finally, and actually won Most Original! It was really cool ^^. We practiced for a few hours before hand, and everyone did a great job on stage ^^. Admittedly I was a bit concerned with Alex looking like he had a bad case of stage fright, but when it came to it, he did fine. I even got to keep the trophy, which was great - I've been in 3 winning cosplays and hadn't kept the trophy yet :D.

Other than that, I had a blast hanging with the other artists - most notably Brian Stelfreeze (again - he's a great guy! He even did 2 sketches for Sam and I this year - Kamiki, and a fabulous Sabin *drools*.) He gave me some useful art tips for perspective and backgrounds that I need to start working with. Also suggested that I move to other mediums now, such as inks and more color. I really do need to do more with inks - if I ever even want to think about doing anything professional I need to get that down. You don't have a finished piece in pencil. Inks really wrap things up smoothly.
I also met one other great artist (though she's not professional yet, though her stuff is amazing), Susan Meyer. She did a piece for Sam and one for me (Sarah got hers in color - which looks super) and I got an inked Sabin - also very nice. I got her contact info, and will probably be commissioning her again once I get a job, more money, etc. Her prices were very reasonable considering her skill level, and I can visualize some very nice peices in her style ^^. She even might CG the pics of Sam and Sabin because she liked the designs ^^.

I got to see a lot of old friends I hadn't seen in a while, like Kytty, Holly and Ryan. That was fun, and caught up a bit ^^. Ryan had lost a lot of weight, and was nice to see him and Holly having a good time :)

Hmmmm... what else.... I actually was very good at the con and didn't spend that much money.. only about $40 over the hotel price and the room, and I made all that back and more selling commissions! Most was actually spent ($25) on Magic singles, ironically. I guess I'm down a bit from wanting LOTS of anime merchandise, and with the internet I know I can find things elsewhere now after the con and sometimes even cheaper (which wasn't the same option when I started going to cons.) Also, I've been horribly spoiled when it comes to Manga. When you've been to Japan and seen them for $2/each, you can't bear to spend $6-$7. Also, DVDs are CHEAP now if you know where to look. Holly was lucky, speaking of DVDs, and got the first Fruits Basket DVD in her con bag. We sat down and watched the rest of the series after the con, and I really enjoyed it ^^. All the characters are interesting, my top favorites being Ayame (the snake) (so cute ^^), Haru (the cow), Shigure (the dog), and Kyou (the cat). At some point I'd actually like to watch Devilman Lady - I saw I think the 2nd ep in a viewing room and it looks like it could actually be intersting. Of course, there's a lot that I'd like to see but have been meaning to. I finally showed Sam and Heather Koko wa Greenwood. Fun..... And we saw Colorful... that was very... special... I think it was made the most amusing by having Clint and John in the same room while we watched it. They confirmed that it was a glimpse into a man's mind.... It starts out being very "uhm".... but after you watch it for a bit, it does start to get amusing... the 3am type of amusing.
Also on a whim bought a scratch off on the way home and actually won $8 ^^. So it was a good weekend.

Let's see... need to go over budgeting... see how I'm doing... and -really- need to get a job.... I want art commissions, I want magic cards (esp this one elf lot on ebay).... and the money will only last so long... I've got enough to last me the rest of the month and pay rent next month... and I've got reserves... but out of that I need to pay back the student loan.... and I want to -keep- those reserves if at all possible.

What else.... what else.... RP'd a bit here and there, but it's been moving much more slowly since the summer started, which is understandable. I just don't want it to die, and I want to keep what's happening fresh and get the things done that we wanted to ^^. Soon... really... the group will start getting more back together.

And I have the feelng like I need to be doing things... I mean.. I know I need to job hunt, but still I have the feeling like there's a lot I need to do that I'm not thinking of, or am not doing quick enough, or am in danger of forgetting. And to make matters worse I had a fever yesterday :/ I have no idea -why- or what caused it, but I certainly felt it. fortunately I feel a lot better now.

Well, off to respond to emails and write a few thank-you notes, and straighten up, trying to get back on center.

Quizlets before A-kon

2003-05-29T19:14:13Z

Should I be worried, or amused?

What Anime Stereotype Are You?

What Anime Vampire Are You?
Childish? Innocent? Bah.

What Forest Creature Are You?

Cool. And fitting I suppose.

looks at the ancient last post Eheheh...

2003-05-13T20:52:10Z

Well.... it's been quite a while since I updated, and much has been going on. I suppose journal writing is not my strongest suite to begin with - I'm horrible at putting things off that don't actually have deadlines. I'm anal-retentive when it comes to classes, but I really try to make an effort to get things done that -I- want to do as well. I finally sat down and read through the journal posts of my friends just now back to finals, which I believe was the last time I sat down to read the journal entries. And, so now I will contribute.

I've been trying to relax since before finals started, and have just over the past couple days finally caught up on sleep. Between early finals, job interviews, dentists, and meeting relatives I hadn't had the chance to just sleep in like I need to do occasionally. I've also now officially graduated! Go me! I also actually made it and got Summa Cum Ladue - All that work for a three-word phrase, but hopefully those three words will somehow make an impact on future oppotrunities yadda yadda yadda.... Right now I just need a source of income - in other words, a job. My college fund is due to dry up shortly, and I need a steady flow of cash that will be at least enough to support me now that I'm going to be officially cut off. Rent, Phone, Food, and Entertainment. The four basic needs. Unfortunately, job also = less free time. And in CS job = bloody hard to find. We'll see.... I really want to be able to relax for a bit... I actually am not angry at this "opportunity" to take a year or so off from school.... I've only been going to school for 19 years of my life and I'm ready for a break.... though how much this break may be all depends on what job I'm able to snag. UCS interviewed me, but I've heard nothing but horror stories about how hard the hours for the pay is on the employees and how conservative it is.... Maybe a secretarial position with Scott and White.... but I'm anxious because I have so little actual job expierence, despite my stellar grades. Again, we'll see. After time off.... well... either I reapply to Grad Schools and/or I shoot for the JET program. I don't want to leave my friends and loved ones behind in CS... I really don't.... I just want to be happy and make at least enough to support myself.... but, admittedly, there has always been a little voice in me wanting to do something with my life- something significant. I feel I have the potential If I "put my mind to it"... but then again, maybe it's mostly been parental encouragement. *shrugs*

What else.... I still have been feeling bad about not making more of an effort to get back into shape... I need to start walking at nights - it's too bloody hot during the day. Situps in the mornings are also good, but I've been bad at making that consistant. I also really want to make some good progress on The Story, however, like I said earlier, I'm bad at doing things not outlined with a deadline or schedule. Which is why I make so many lists. It's what takes it for me to get things that need to be done done. I've always been frustrated by people who say they'll do things but never do and I've made an effort not to be like that. I will get this written.... just so many things have come up, the little things, the distractions, and it gets put off a day.... and another day..... It's also been far too long since we've had a good RP session that's lasted longer than an hour or two, and I don't want it to slide into nothingness.... I guess once people start to get a feel for the summer schedule it will get better. Hopefully. Anyway, I'd love, more than anything, to make my fortunes off the book idea, but I've stated that before. In good news, I sold my first art commission :). Tav and I are collaborating on it - I draw, she color. (her CGing is AMAZING!) Hmmm... Also I've had the bad fortune to get into Magic. One of the few games I told myself I'd never get into. Thanks, Alex. I knew how evil and horrible it is on money, how insane some things can go for. I was happy with Rage. It was out of print and thus cheap compartively. You wouldn't see any card from the set go for more than... $30 at max, for like a promo card. And in general, even rares were generally under a buck. Silvers under $10. Magic.... ahahaha... no. *sighs* I'll try to stay reasonable, but I ..... I'm a collector. I know I wont' collect the set. I don't hope to or desire to, but there are always little goals.... and with Magic, it's endless...... but I suppose it's not as bad as anime cels.... *knocks on wood* Except for the fact that with magic there's the appeal of "packs" - and packs are relatively, individually, cheap. ANd it's far too easy to say "Oh! I'm just going to buy 2 packs. they're only $3 each." and this builds, my friends. And, oh yes, I knew all of this before I started collecting. I had had my 2 decks, and about 300 random cards. That was it; I was cool. I knew how addictive it was, and how crazy the following. *shakes her head* I just don't want it to distract me too much from things I want to do. I know, in the long run, it probably won't be a phase that will last - I can tell. It will be more like Rage (not as short as Arcadia - it was too easy to collect and less things you could do with the cards.) I know that the RP will last, It's lasted this long and I feel that there is so much we can do with it - and it's so personal. just like RPing in general... which It's been far too long since I've done... not that I need another time commitment atm.

So, in brief. I want a job. I want a job that will pay me at least $1100/month. I want a job that will give me free time after work and not work me dead during the week. I want to get started on our novel. I want to RP more. And I want a happy collection of magic cards that I can build my deck ideas out of.

Hmm... also, I've been enjoying movies recently, and am looking forward to more coming out later this summer/year. X2 Kicked ass, for the record :) - lots of old memories from my comic-collecting days (which, btw, is a collection I am -not- getting back into. Maybe a few graphic novels from series like Sandman or League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (no, NOT LXG *shudders* at least they changed it from the last preview I saw to "the League").

Finally, I'm hungry.... we really need to go grocery shopping ^^:

So, in the spirit of that, this is an amusing quiz to end things on:

You are Professor X!

You are a very effective teacher, and you are very
committed to those who learn from you. You put
your all into everything you do, to some extent
because you fear failure more than anything
else. You are always seeking self-improvement,
even in areas where there is nothing you can do
to improve.

Which X-Men character are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yeesh it's been forever

2003-05-01T06:56:45Z

And there have been so many interesting quizlets people have done... I'll contribute a bit ^^;

LOL! Very amusing! I swear I didn't try for this ^^.

I've come to take you.
What character from a creepy anime are you?

Find out what anime series you belong in.

Take the Anime soundtrack Quiz

Can't recall the soundtrack....

What anime hue are you?

cold.. or are you?

Find out what bishonen you are.

Who?

Other than that... I've been job-searching, preparing for Finals (while trying to maintain my "I'm still in school and summer hasn't started" mindset).. .and getting ready to Graduate... wow... a bacchelor's degree... I've been in school for nearly 20 frikkin years... it feels weird.

In other notes, Damn you ALex... getting me into something I swore I would't :p.

I also have the overriding feeling that I need to do something the past few days, even though I think I'm doing okay staying on top of things.

Quizzles

2003-04-14T07:50:46Z

You are a weird dream

What kind of dream are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Oh, time for bed -more later mayhaps

Week in review.

2003-04-11T19:23:26Z

Well, Here I am sitting in the computer lab in blocker, my Western Dress class cancelled fort he 4th time in a row (I've heard a rumor that the prof had emergency surgery done...I hope she's alright - she's really nice and the class is great- it's interesting and it gives me a good opportunity to practice drawing, and drawing clothing styles.)
ANyway, I would be home, starting my weekend unwind from a busy week, though I still have to go to this Phi Kappa Phi thing today in ... oh...a little less than 2 hours. So I'm here in high heels and dressed up and feeling out of place.
So what's been happeneing with me? It's been quite a while since I've updated my journal - I know I should more frequently, but I get shinied so easily or wrapped up in things that I either want to or need to do. Good news, I finished my 10 page paper! Go me! I don't have to even think about it really until monday when I'll talk about it to the (six person) class, and afterwards have to edit the sucker again with whatever feedback the prof and students give me. Joy. (and then of course write page reviews for each of the other students' papers. Hopefully they'll write quickly and I'll be able to end up doing well in the class.) I'd -love- to be able to graduate Summa Cumm Ladue, and I think that I just might after all, but we'll see.
Other than that, took a Psych test today - about what I expected. But now, once I geta bit of reading out of the way, I should -actually- have an open weekend ahead of me. Too bad Sarah's out of town at the wedding - I feel for her and her frustrations with her parents and I hope that everything goes smoother than I worry that it might. She can get so stressed out after spending just a little time with them - it's sad to see parents that don't know how to support their kids emotionally, but only criticize.
So this weekend I intend to draw a lot, and hopefully progress on the outline for the story - but again, it would be nice for Sarah to be around to bounce ideas off of and brainstorm with.... I know where it's going for a bit, and where it's going in general, but the little things need to be worked through in places. Either way, it needs to be written on, and I haven't in quite some time. This is something that I truly want to do.
Hmm.... I got my Aggie Ring.... .... yup.... I was surprised how big of a deal a lot of people make it out to be. Going with parents/family to pick the thing up, pictures taken, music and lots of people...then, when I pick mine up, they ask me if I'm nervous?? WHy would I be nervous to pick up a ring I paid for about 2 months ago, and knew exactly what I was getting? Cest la vie...
I guess it'snice to have, and have something to brandish about to show the work I've put through at A&M... and I've heard from a lot of people that it can be good to have opportunity-wise in the future... which I'm not sure if I view as a goodthing (which for me it is...) or a strange/biased thing... (which itis... just happens to benefit me as well..)

Hmmm... what else what else.... My auction for an art commission didn't sell on ebay :/ It's disheartening, and I tell myself that maybe it's because I could have listed it better, used a different title, or category... but still.... At least I've gotten an email because it of someone encouraging my artwork who might be interested in a commission some point in the future.

Been progressing on the storyline in the campaign... things should be most interesting as they progress further and the storylines start to come together... Sam and I just need to catch up ^^;. One of the scenarios caused a bit of a problem with one of the players - something I didn't expect and didn't intend to happen at all... Given some of the character's background and actions in the past, I never foresaw a problem, but apparently there was more beneath the surface than I thought... Hopefully with a small modification things should work out... The character needs conflict - as she hasn't had any since she was introduced, and thus we worked out what we saw as a karmically fitting and angsty and interesting/difficult one to work with that might have reprocussions in the future.... I liked the idea objectively, though I think that it can still work out with Sarah's ideas of modification/changing a bit to still have lasting reprocussions for the character's feelings/situation.

Discouraged that we've not heard back yet from Ruth Thompson... she was so friendly at Aggiecon... now I don't expect to hear back from her, which is really too bad - I would have loved to see the sketches she said that she'd do - and was very friendly and would be a neat person to maintain contact with.

Going to be job hunting very shortly. Althought I got accepted to the Anth department at TAMU for grad school, they have no funding. And as I have no more funding either, that makes for a generally bad situation. So I'll need to find a job starting this summer and lasting until either I do the JET program,decide to apply elsewhere that will pay for me, or make my fortunes ^^. DUring which, hopefully, I'll be able to write and work on our ideas as Iwon't have "homework" or studying to do for a job.
Ideas include teaching in some way shape or form (maybe a private day care... I've heard sub teaching is very competitive in town and not frequent enough to depend on), maybe something with CSPD, maybe management or secretarial work somewhere. Essentially I need to do something that will pay me a the very least 1000 -1200 a month to support me.

Hopefully things will be smoothe going, and drama free - that's always a good thing to hope... productivity where I need it, and lots of luck.

sabin_duvert @ 2003-04-02T00:50:00

2003-04-02T06:52:11Z

You are... The Silence of the Lambs - "Hello,
Clarice."
Creepy little f*ck, aint'cha? You thrive on
intelligence and impeccable manners, which is
probably what makes you so scary. You may seem
a little crazy, but there's method to your
madness. When you love, you are willing to give
your to someone special... still beating.

What movie quote are YOU?
brought to you by Quizilla

Ironically, as an INTJ, I have the same personality as Mr. Lecter as well ^^; - food for thought *evil grin*

Found this in Jake's Journal

2003-04-02T03:18:19Z

RPG Quiz:

Alias: Sabin Duvert

Years roleplaying: real Roleplaying? As in by the rules and in an actual gaming group...? about 7. If you count things like Lunchroom D&D and fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants gaming? Then most of my sentient life.

Favorite three characters?: Definately Sabin, aside from him, Gavin Strombale and Agent Pendergast... for a 4th I'd throw in Jay Bryce

Male or female characters?: Honestly, I come up with about an equal ratio of male and female characters, but I grow more -attached- to the male characters, and those campaigns tend to last longer ^^

Oldest character?: First character or Oldest character? First Character was "Edge" (mark Adams.... I was 14, okay?).... Longest played character.... Either Pendergast or Sabin (Sabin probably more total time, Pendergast longest campaign from start to end.)

Newest character?: Paige Gallagher, a new Lasombra in a Vampire chronicle... Ah! no wait - Rohbi "the Rabbit"- for a one-shot game of Wes's in Denton. Wait... I liked again... there was a 3-hour "Kobolds Ate my Baby" game at Aggiecon, "YipYap".... If that counts....

Most popular character?: Sabin, I suppose - He's closest to my heart, and my persona.

Character you've never played?: I have several characters that I've created, and have really liked the backgrounds, but the bloody campaigns don't last past a session. I -really- want to at some point play the kitsune concept I created - not White Wolf kitsune, but in the original sense of the word. Created a 5-page background for Fujiwara Ayashi, and only played 1 session of a very plot-driven, no character development hack-n-slash game -.- (If I had know that..... )

Which character of yours would be most likely to...

Jump of a bridge: Shoren Graleris - she can fly ;)

Get drunk and pass out?: Many if not most of my characters - Jay and Sabin for a start...

Get Married? Sabin - already has.

Be far too hyper for their own good?: In the right mood, Sabin - I generally don't play quite the sugar-addicts like some other people (*coughHeather* ;) ) maybe Phaedra.

Kill somebody in a very unorthodox way?: Creante ^^;

Get lost and refuse to ask for directions?: Martine diGrassi I guess - too stubborn for her own good

Get lung cancer?: Jay Brice

Star in a horror movie?: Sabin

Star in a video game?: This is a very general question.... Fighting Game? RPG? *shrugs* Gavin I guess...

Make the world a better place? Jordan "Light of the Shadow" Kenwright

Relate each word to a character of yours:

Love: Sabin I guess - no character has -embodied- love, but he's found it.
Hate: Greer
Money: Dawn Leveray (a one-shot... a media star in a shadowrun campaign - "researching" life of a shadowrunner for a role)
Seduction: Ceravyn I suppose - an old character I liked, panther shifter in a no-system game.
Tragedy: Nicole (changeling for wes's wraith/changeling crossover game.)
Manipulation: Creante, mr. Fear of Being Controlled
Violence: Creante again I guess.
Politics: Jordan
Fire: Maggie Fletcher (Waaaaayy old character - GURPS game. Dragon-esque girl)
Ice: Pendergast

Would you ever...

Play a musician? Sure - why not ^^

Play a pilot? Suppose so - I don' have much background on 'em, though

Play a homosexual? sure

Play a politician? I think I could pull it off - though haven't played any specifically yet

Quizlet amusement

2003-04-01T09:44:28Z

Going over some of the older quizzes in peoples' journals.

You're a Tree boa!
Eeessh - Calm down ! - You may have, in the past,
been called a tad high strung ? - You like
being Alone, the Night, and Striking evily at
anything warm and fuzzy that gets near you! You
can be hard to understand at times, But
underneath all that Hiss! We all know your
really a sweet and beatifull character - Amazon
Treeboas are medium sized, nocturnal, Booid
snakes from the rainforest canopy of South
America.

What kind of reptile are you most like ?
brought to you by Quizilla

Nemui desu....

For Wayne ;)

2003-03-31T07:08:23Z

Whaaa ha ha ha ha

2003-03-31T06:51:19Z

An entry for entry's sake!

2003-03-30T07:24:48Z

Lookatme! I'm writing in my journal! ;p

Hmm... I've been very negligent on this poor new journal... been nearly a week since I last updated I believe... *checks* Okay.... over a week... Eheh...
well, to sum things up, the Rest of Aggiecon was a blast as well - we hung out some more with Ruth, did some more drawing collaborations at a panel she decided to hold because it was fun, and hung out :). I participated at the Costume contest - and I won second place for a really cool werewolf costume that I made last year for Halloween - it was received then pretty well too - made small children cry, which I suppose is a good mark for success for a werewolf costume ;) (though it didn't do nearly as well when I had tired it at the local bar costume contest.... something about drunk people more intersted in things like women with their chests hanging out, crossdressers, and such.)
So I had a good time, and I felt good that my work was well received - I think partially because Myhr was the MC in his catsuit, and there was much fun in our interaction ;). Regardless, I -am- really proud how the costume turned out, especially the mask - nothing works quite as well as real fur (albeit rabbit) for an animal costume, that mixed with air-dry black clay for lips and nose, and sculpy teeth worked out great! I was finishing putting it on during the Art Auction (where Sarah was pleased with the relatively cheap prices she got her 2 prints for.) Ruth was very impressed by my costume - and it really felt good to hear ^_^
Other than that on Saturday, I wandered the dealer's room for a while, watched a really cool panel called "Iron Artist" in which Ruth Thompson, Brian Stelfreeze, and Myhr/Jamie had a draw off in a mystery medium, which turned out to be Crayola crayons, somehow fitting the con's theme, "It's Just like Jazz" Both Brian's and Ruth's were great! Ruth took Sarah's suggestion by drawing a fairy in a 1920-ish flapper dress, leaning against a streetsign in New Orleans, and drinking. Brian did what at first looked like a really blues-player looking man playing a cello.... but as he worked, you realized that it wasn't really a cello, but the back of a woman, leaning against him, with the cello designs on her back. It looked really neat -it was a very cool concept, and really makes the viewer do a doubletake. Speaking of Brian's art and doubletakes, he made an "alternate" Aggiecon shirt - again, paroding the theme. From a distance, it looks like a singer singing into a microphone, with sweat glistening on her face and musical notes white-on-black in the background.... only when you look closely, the Slogan dosn't say what it normally did.... it was changed to : "Aggiecon: It's just like jizz".... and that wasn't a microphone.... ^^; - But it was funny as hell ^_~
Later, I was able to meet up with Brian Stelfreeze and have him take a look at my art, he says that I've come a long way since last year - my forms have loosened up and my musculature is simpler without loss of definition. He suggested that I start working with counterpose more - since a lot of my pictures emphasize people looking, well, sexy - it's a way to really accentuate that without going the route of some artists that make me roll my eyes that just make women's breasts frikkin' HUGE (as in head-sized or larger), or a guy bulging with muscles. I like how he handles his artwork- its so smooth and confident. After which, he agreed to draw for me - this year he drew a really cool pen-and-ink picture of Samantha, illustrating the counterpose position, leaning on a bureau. Turned out really nice - though it's too large to fit in my 9x12 commissions and giftart portfolio... And I had to scan it in 4 pieces and still managed to find out after the fact I cut off the top of her hair and his signiture when I pieced it together... perhaps I'll run it few a few more times to fix it so I can put a revised printout in the portfolio. I'm going to try to find a readymade frame at Hobby Lobby or somewhere to put it in - I like custom frames, but damn if they're not expensive x_X. I'm going to get my color Brian LeBlanc piece framed soon....

Hmmm.... other than that, we missed meeting Ruth for dinner- the place we were going to rondevous was already closed.... We then went to go see Rocky Horror - and I must have been really damn tired because I was nearly falling asleep a few times. But that's the sign of a good con ;). (Though this is my first aggiecon in 8 years that I've -actually- slept every night of it.) Sunday I was hit with a wonderful idea involving the $5 White wolf books under a table (I had most of them - the kick int he butt, darn, I spent too much) and my memory of Hasting's return-for-credit-without-a-receipt policy. ^^ - I wasn't sure it was going to work, so I only bought 3 beyond one I found I actually wanted, alongwith the prize from the costume contest of some GURPS books I had/didn't particularly want ("GURPS cops..?") But it did work ^_^. Yay :).
Hmm... I also did a really cool figure drawing panel with Ruth, working on quick sketches of people in different positions- VERY good practice and I really should do it more - it helps me with proportions and perspective. But I found Brian, who had finished the Sam picture, and showed him them, and he was VERY happy - and put more pressure on me ;) (He said, to paraphrase, that they looked great, and he was so glad that I had actually -listened- to the things that he had said, that it was like throwing a rock in a pond and actually being able to see the ripples. He then said (no pressure of course... *cough*) that if I did that much in a day, he was looking forward to seeing how I am next year.)
We then watched a bit of a film that one of the people that we had met at Ruth's drawing panel was producing, and will be released this summer by Lion's Gate, called Midnight Mass - a Vampire flick - though with a low B-budget. It was interesting, though, and really cool to hear about the development and being part of a teaser prescreening :)

SO - all in all it was a good Con :) a VERY good con. I haven't heard back from Ruth yet - she said that she'd do a sketch of the characters ^_^. I'll probably send her a Big Thank You sometime early next week - I just really don't want her to feel like we're stalking her - but I really had an amazing time hanging out with her - she was very easy to get along with and a great inspiration ^_^.

After the Con, we watched the Oscars - all in all I was pretty happy with most of the decisions - I'm very glad that Spirited Away won best Animated film, and that Lose Yourself got best Song. Admittedly, it would have been great if The Two Towers had won best picture, but I didn't honestly expect it it - and I'm happy that Chicago won istead of something like The Hours. I do hope that the finale, Return of the King, wins it next year, though.

After that, I spent most of Monday actually - starting- that darn paper of mine, and between then and Thursday actually got about 2/3 of it written! Go me! Now just to finish it... I hope to do that tomorrow - at least the draft. That will be a HUGE weight off my shoulders - I always get like that while writing papers, or more accurately, when I have papers I have yet to write. Hmmm.... what else what else.... played a bit in VL last week after paperage... we need to move the game a bit with some of the characters... I'm really enjoying Fae =^_^=. I also really want to work more on the Outline -it's coming slowly. I do like how it's coming... I just hope the teacher does too - I'm worried that I'm stretching information in places to fit the thesis, or to fit the paper structure..... we'll see...

Other than that, have gotten some tests out of the way - which is cool - Archaeology tests are a bitch. The Western dress midterm was easy, though I should find out the grades for both next week.

I've been thinking about my future.... looks like I may take some time off before grad school - hopefully get a job that pays well enough for me to support myself - I WANT to stay in College Station. I really do. I like it here, I love my friends, and I like the atmosphere of my apartment. I want to work on My story as I work, as with work, there is no Homework. I want to do this, save some money, and maybe do the JET program next fall... (It was too late to apply this year.) Though, admittedly, it will be weird to just pick up and leave the country for 1-3 years.... thoguh I'm pretty sure that I can get it - I'm very qualified. And that would be a -great- background for the Bush School - if I still decide to do that.... but I'd have to leave everything behind.... my friends.... my Schtuff.... *sighs*.... I don't know.... I want things to keep going on as they are now... but with more freetime.... I know that's too much to ask for though.

I won another BL Art auction tonight ^_^. I -love- his art... and I really need to get the color one and the Stelfreeze that are sitting on my scanner framed.... at least the stelfreeze is a standard size I think, 11x14... I can probably find a premade frame for that one. I just -need- to watch my budgeting; I've also been skimming the web looking at commission artists - it's a lot of fun actually, though I've been picky - essentially looking for people at least as good/better than Heather or I, and who don't charge an arm and a leg.
I also got the YumYum studios commissions in the mail today that I won a while ago on Ebay ^_^. Her coloring style is AMAZING, and her chibiSabin was to Die for ^_^, though the bigger pic she took some creative liscence with -changed the pose/expression... and unfortunately Sam's hair looks very short and artificially curled.... I still like it, though I know Sam dosn't see it looking right for her. I'm working on a new example pic of Sam - I think part of the problem being that in the other pic I'd been using - her in the dress - I really like it but I see where the problem came in - her hair is straighter until the ears where the tight ringlets start. I did that to show the hair weighing it down, but some people intrepret it as straight and then a few short curls.... which is the second problem, I drew it to indicate that the rest of the hair was behind her shoulders, but instead it just looks short. Unfortunately, that's still my favorite drawing of Sam that I've done... and It's intimidating to think "I want to do better now" even though I did that way back after last A-kon.... I want to think that I'm getting better, and it's frustrating when I can't get it right to match that. The "Great! I did it!... But can I do it again?" I wish I could be more consistantly good.... I still think the eyes in the new pic I'm working on look off... I can't put my finger on exactly why... maybe too wide... My bodies are getting better- I can definately say that, but I don't like my faces. They're too simple. Eyes-nose-mouth. I'm having trouble getting a 3-d look... getting definition, and getting away from anime or comic style.

Let's see..... in other news, Kytty came into town last night - it's cool to see her again and show her stuff - like a movie I was pretty sure she'd enjoy, Shanghai Noon - one of the main characters being VERY much like Irvine. Hope she enjoys her stay - I get a bit anxious sometimes with guests that I'm not being a good host - comes from my parents ragging on me I suppose....

Humm... anything else? Not particularly for the moment. Sarah's heading to houston tomorrow for the obligatory parent visit. I'm hopefully going to finish the draft of my paper *nods head.* Really.

YEEE!

2003-03-22T07:09:07Z

Wow! I'm having an AWESOME DAY! Seriously - today is Friday, and technically the 2nd Day of Aggiecon 34 (my 8th year at Aggiecon or something crazy like that) and so far (just Friday) is very close to if not IS my favorite convention so far! Everything has been going wonderfully and things have just been awesome.

Last night we came by that evening to go to the Publishing 101 Panel - which was all about how to get your writing published, though in reality was more about various writers talking about their expierences and general things more than a step-by-step. Then, after that, I ran into Brian Stelfreeze (who I was really saddened when I thought that he wasn't going - because I didn't see him on the guest list when I had checked online earlier. He's awesome and really fun to hang out with (I think I've used the word "Awesome" a lot in this post already.) He's very laid back, and it was really cool that he actually remembered me from last year! Even remembered my art and the suggestions that he had made to me ^_^. I showed him my portfolio briefly and he really liked how I've come I think - he noticed my better flow with my linework and simplification without loss of feel of the musculature. I went home feeling verry happy, and got together my werewolf costume when I intend to wear tomorrow for the costume contest.

Today, beleive it or not, despite boring morning classes, was even BETTER! I hurried after (well, okay, I left about 15 minutes before Psych ended) to get to Ruth Thompson's art critique panel. If you don't know who she is, Ruth Thompson is an AMAZING fantasy artist - you might know her work from Hot Topic Fairies, awesome dragon illustrations, etc. Anyway, it was cool that it was a pretty small panel - only about 6 people, and she took time to go through everyone's portfolio and hang out. She was very different than I expected her to be - she was VERY fun and (I'm going to say it again, I'm sorry) Awesome. She remided me a lot of an older blonde Sarah - very outgoing and happy and laid back, but with lots of creative and personable energy. After the panel was technically over, Sarah, heather and I hung around afterwards and just talked with her- about our ideas, our insprirations, her artwork, our artwork, our goals, etc etc. It was a blast- she's so easy to talk to and so nice! I think she's one of the best Con Guests I've spoken with so far - and that's impressive given people like Brian Stelfreeze. I think Heather also got some really good suggestions - like the fact that she might have a shot with submitting art to a gaming company that's currently looking for artists ( I won't say which one so I don't make more competition :P.)

After that, feeling very happy and very inspired from talking with her, Sarah Did the Quick Sale price on one of Ruth's prints in the Art Show (the Artists's print even! essentially #0 from a run of prints - Very awesome.) Also good that she decided to do it then because afterwards at the art reception later that night people were bidding on her things left and right.
Then, we played a RPG - a crazy one called "Kobolds Ate My Baby" - it was entertaining, but nothing amazing. The GM was reading from the module, but most of the amusing things came from the Zany players. And! Another weird twist of fate/serendipity - one of the other players (out of only 2 others) was a publisher. We got his card and information :) - while a small publisher, it looked as if the things that they were putting out might be up our work's alley ^_^
We went to the dealer's room then to see what was up - Brian Stelfreeze was busy finishing his Painting from the "Painting with Brian" panel earlier, and we got to see him put on some of the finishing touches. Then we went by PN Elrod's booth, intending to ask questions to her about publishing, since she did it in the horror genre, which might better fit VL than Fantasy. Ironically enough, she had diskettes for sale for $2 each with essentially everything you need to know about trying to get a book published - very well written (there were samples) - showing mistakes (analyzing sample pieces of works), to how to write a cover letter to a publisher, to how to properly outline a story, and all sorts of wonderful other suggestions :) Dink again :)

After all this we were a bit tired from not sleeping enough last night due to late night wal mart runs for Nail glue and Wallets, we rested for a bit before the Art Reception. There, we talked to Ruth more, and Sarah and I gave her our sketches of dragons - she was very nice and receptive :). Finally, to really put the icing on the cake, she invited the three of us to sit down with her, talk... and then suggested that we "do something fun" - and we did... VERY fun!! We did 2 round robin drawing sessions! It was SOOOO much fun!! We eached started a drawing, then after a bit passed it around the circle - so in the end we each had 2 works to keep with contributions from everyone there: Sarah, Heather, Ruth Thompson, and me :) - it was a very enlightening sessions - talking and chatting about all kinds of things, and when you work with the sketches like that you can really get a feel for the process - I feel SO good about art AND writing right now :) . I really don't want to leave CS after graduating - who knows what I can do :) - I want to start drawing with Inks, and I REALLY want to start THE story... ^____^

More Quizlets. Yay searches on Quizilla

2003-03-20T07:03:30Z

Neat Sandman quiz:

You Are: Death of the Endless

You are Death, the second oldest of the Endless,
the seven great incarnations.
She is, in outward appearance, a goth with wild
unkempt hair and slightly punkish clothes. But
she is far beyond that mere description. Her
function is much like the "Reaper,"
to collect the souls of mortals as they die.

She is perky, optimistic, and bright, but she also
has a serious side, which shows when she is
angry or upset. She can become quite frustrated
with her brother, when he is being singularly
foolish.

People fear her because of what she is, and this
can get her down sometimes. But they also love
her, without ever truly knowing why.

What Sandman Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

You got me how I got this result... but the test itself was nicely written:

Assamite - The Assassins have broken the magical
fetters placed upon them by the Tremere, and
are now more vicious and bloodthirsty than
ever.

What White Wolf vampire clan are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I've always loved personality tests!

2003-03-20T02:12:30Z

http://www.personalitypage.com/INTJ.html
This really fits me.

If you wanna take the test (^^)
http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

These have always been very interesting and scarily accurate.

In other news, I sold my car! Yay! Go me - I got what I was wanting for it too - though there was a frustrating moral dilemma... remind me to just list something directly in the city's paper instead of wasting my time with the college newspaper - I got like 6 calls today about it, and unfortunately Felt Really guilty about taking the money from someone who was very pushy in wanting the car when someone had said to hold it for them.... But the money was right in front of me, he was VERY pushy, and last time I held the car I never heard back from the other party.... -.- Still... I feel guilty.... but I guess maybe I'm dwelling too much on it... the car sold, the people who had asked to hold it for me had talked to me 2 weeks prior and hadn't been that interested until the day I happened to list it in the Eagle.... siigh... But - I'm not going to dwell on it - it's over and I probably will never see either party again. Because I've now sold my car, hopefully soon I'll shoot for a computer upgrade - it really needs it. New HD (I've been concerned about the current one... it's made some worrysome noises), New Motherboard, new Processor, new video card, and a new mouse... my old one up and died when I was dust-busting and I'm borrowing one of Sarah's extra without one of the addictive up-down roller-ball things (go go technical speach ^^; ). And maybe some more Memory. Well.... that's virtually a new computer ^^;.

I'm VERY much looking forward to Aggiecon!! It (technically) Starts tomorrow and I've been reading over the guests, panels, anime lists, and Games being run and There's surprisingly for me and Aggiecon SOOO much that I want to do - I know me and I probably won't end up doing half of it, but still! Lots of panels like artist suggestions, critiques by professional artists, seminars on suggestions on how to publish stories (Which hopefully will be useful in the forseeable future ^^ ) Some really neat-sounding games - some of which are set in the Victorian timeperiod, and I've been wanting to play "Kobolds Ate My Baby" since richard et al played it 2 years ago and said it was hilarious ^_^. Then there's of course the dealer's room which I'm going to tell myself that I won't spend more than $100. .... we'll see.

Hmm... anything else.... not particularly. Like Sarah, I've said my peace on earlier matters, and I'm going to leave them at that. I'm glad... well... I REALLY hope everything is over.

Hmm... In other news I'm still procrastinating on my paper. Yay..... only not ^^;. I better get a big chunk of the bloody thing next week - I know I won't this weekend with Aggiecon. I love conventions :) - especially Aggiecon. I've gone all but 1 year ever since I was 14. I love the small-con feel, but not -too- small - they have some neat guests every year that are fun to talk to in a more intimate fashion, you can relax and talk to anyone, and you don't feel rushed or lost among a sea of too many people like the bigger cons.

Oh Why not

2003-03-19T21:58:47Z

Morbid Curiousity Away!

I'm done now ^^;

Let's all stop pretending that we're psychic and omniscient, please?

2003-03-19T02:51:16Z

One very unfortunate trend I have noticed recently while reading all of the posts and opinions that have been posted is that people have had the very bad habit of assuming that they know everything about the situation, and go so far as to begin to put words in other peoples mouths. Things that those people do not believe, falsly intrepreting their motivations behind the issue, and in the end, blowing things further out of porportion.

Yes, I have been here for Sarah during this, and previous, difficult times in her life. I am -not- just her "yes man" - no one has seen the things that I have been trying to do to help Sarah through her problems, and I feel slighted that you're saying that I'm making the problem worse. You assume you know what I'm saying, and you assume I'm just agreeing with everything she says because I am supporting her in this issue. I am not afraid to give my opinions, but unlike a lot of other people, I am trying to listen first before expressing them. I understand where the source of the problem is. I don't think there is a big fault anywhere other than Minky not coming out sooner with the relationship and forestalling this huge Mess. People have been misundesrtanding the root of the problem, and have been dragging this out. I agree with Sarah in her rationale of the situation and the steps that she is taking after things have been said. I agree that she has been hurt too much already, given Mike more chances than one person deserves from one individual. Yes, she has been hurt, and I don't blame her for not wanting to open herself to the hurt again. She is -trying- to get past this and PUT it behind her. People are making this harder for her, and calling her a bad person for not wanting to be hurt again. I think that this is very cruel and dosn't make sense. There is a point where your mind tells you it's futile to give someone a 100th chance when every time before it has ended in pain. Even if he has changed, it looks no different to her than every time he claims in the past that he's changed, but has hurt her.
Minky is a different issue. We -know- she hasn't been hurt by Mike in the past, and the main misunderstanding is that Sarah put a lot more faith in Minky frienship wise than Minky felt in return, as she has a difficult time opening up to people. Minky also never expressed to Sarah her anxiety in the steps that Sarah took in order to try to establish a connection - I can certainly see where Sarah feels that she was blindsided, and I can see why Sarah has absolutely no reason personally to have a desire to retry a frienship on her initiative again. She sees Minky's position... and she sees the miscommunication, but she has no reason to put herself in a position to be hurt again without Minky at least showing the initiative that she wants a frienship.
My standpoint with Minky... unfortunately one of my worst habits, I'll admit, is I'm horrible at maintaining contact with friends who are not around me on a daily basis. I do try, but generally current situations occupy my mind and my emotional commitments. I've been through a lot over the past 2 years with Sarah in which we each have helped eachother through emotional problems, and we have built up a lot in common. Also, unlike with certain frienships in the past, there has been no falseness and no manipulation. It's a very open and deep friendship. I can form emotional bonds at varying rates - and sometimes it has hurt me, like Minky. Minky has since I have known her paranoid about letting someone truly into her shell or expressing any problems that she has with the parties deep down in fear of confrontation. She dosn't like to let people in because she is very worried about what they really think of her, despite gestures of frienship. And I can understand, that, again. Last I heard through a very 3rd party means that I dont' even quite remember Minky wasn't even sure that when she moved out that I liked her because of some of the minor arguments about difference of opinions on cleanliness. I have always considered Minky a friend, though the closeness of that has varyied over time. I can probably count the number of times I've seen her in total since she originally moved to Seattle on my hands. I'm not saying that this isn't at least in part my fault - I can make excuses - I've been busy, I've had other things on my mind, I'm not good with long-distance friendships, and most of all, I've never had more than a few close friends, and I find it hard to deal with more than that.
All in all, I don't know why people assumed that I was cutting off contact with Minky. I don't recall ever having said anything to that effect. I -do- however, wish nothing to do with Mike. I see no reason why Minky and I... and everyone else for that matter... can't continue on the way we have been. Admittedly, I probably am not going to be best bosom buddies with Minky and talk deeply about relationships. But then it's been about 2 1/2 years since we've had more than an hour conversation in person - not that I'm blaming anyone for this or consider myself faultless for this.

People keep on digging up dirt to try to draw this out. A conclusion has been reached. I'm just as involved in this issue as Wayne, Daniel, Rachel - they are trying to blame Sarah for being involved when I believe that I'm just as involved as the other people who are blaming her for dragging people in. The real heart of the issue lay only with Sarah and Minky. The rest of us were there to talk, for support, and to give opinions. It shouldn't turn into a Friend/World War. Especially when people are bashing a party uninformed as to what the real issue even is and intentionally TRYING to bring up sore pasts. We're trying to move on and past, and it's becoming worse. Everything was fine the day before yesterday. People knew where they stood. Please let's try and not embitter ourselves more with a issue that's already been resolved. If you have an issue, or think you have an issue, talk to the party to find out if you even know what you're talking about before slinging mud.

On Recent Matters....

2003-03-18T07:44:21Z

Where to start....

First of all, I'm glad for Sarah that she was able to talk to the people that she had been waiting to talk to - there's nothing more frustrating than having an issue burning inside of you and not being able to talk to the people to face them and try to get your feelings understood at the very least. I really hope that things move a bit more smoothly now in the very least... that some of the anger and hurt will subside.... I know that there are things that will persist... and it's not worth setting yourself up to be hurt again in respect to certain individuals. Even the proximity can hurt... brings up memories that you don't want to be brought up.... and I don't think that she -should- associate anymore with the party in question. She's honestly better off for cutting ties, despite proclaimed neutral feelings on the other side... I can see buttons being pushed, subtly, they know her well enough to be able to do things quietly, subversively, and knows the situation full well and where everyone stands.
If he has changed. Great. Good for him. I don't think so. Best case, too many opportunities were given, and it's not worth trying to force a frienship when there is nothing, honestly in my opinion, good that can come of it. She's got a lot to lose - all the progress she's made in the past year or so.... and not much to gain in all honestly. If he wants to talk.... *sighs* Fine. Talk... I don't think it's -him- that's wanting them to talk, though, in all honesty, and Sarah certainly dons't. Sarah's finally gotten past him, cut her ties... don't make her do this again. I have seen some of their talking, and I see him twisting her words, trying to make himself seem more validated by downplaying the hurt he caused her, blaming her reactions on being over emotional that a normal person could handle. He claims he been through as much as she has. All I have to say to that is Bullshit. I see him trying to blame her ahead of time for what he anticipates being a cut-off of connections when Sarah said plainly that if Minky wants to reinitiate a relationship, then the ball's in her court. Why on -earth- would Sarah have -any- reason to initiate things? She's already done more for the other party, been hurt more by the other party. She has no reason to step forward in an analogy of an apology first. All she's gotten in hurt in the process. Saa... I'm ranting again... but I guess that's what this is here for.. though I still don't feel like I'm really enunciating well how I feel... I'm just writing...

In other matters... ironically similar and different at the same time... I am willing to be civil in such things - I always have extended that courtesy at least. I have hurt feelings... I'd lie if I said that things didn't hurt, and that I understood why things were done the way they happened. I tried, during the period in question, to maintain rational, to not do things in return that hurt... to try to avoid confrontation, but it was virtually impossible.... I won't get into how I feel like I was manipulated or intentionally angered again... I don't know why that happened, and it's in the past. Yes, there were enjoyable times in there, fond memories, events, projects... but yes, there was also a lot of pain, and a lot of times that I felt like I was being put in peoples' debt and made to feel guilty for things.... a friendship is not a patron-client system.... it's a bond...
I guess what it boils down to, again, yes I'll be civil. And I'll talk. I wasn't hurt nearly as badly in this situation as I know Sarah was in the other situation that I've mentioned. yes, I hurt, and yes I was very stressed during this time period because I was trying to make everyone happy, and had myself emotionally involved. I don't want to place myself in that situation again... because what I've heard sounds remarkably like what was said initially before I tried for a second chance with the individual... Maybe I'm bitter... maybe this person has changed.... I can't tell. And I don't want to make the same mistake a third time. I'm willing to talk if they want to talk, but I don't think a true frienship would be plausable without more pain. No, I'm not walling myself up to avoid the slightest bad thing that might happen to me or hurt me. But when there is more pain that just keeps building in a relationship on, what I beleive to be both sides, it's not worth it. (I think I'm repeating myself... I'm not proofing this, just writing.)

In other matters...
I feel guilty about not working on schoolwork stuff... and I don't know when I will make time with a Test on Wednesday, and Aggiecon this weekend.... I've got 3 weeks to finish the bloody paper.... but Things like this hang over my head and spite me... and I jsut -really- don't want to work on it... I always get more stressed out than I know I should, but I can't help it..... and I don't want to push myself in the right direction. I feel so burned out.
I am looking forward to Aggiecon starting Friday - hopefully Brian Stelfreeze will be there, but I have my doubts now :( (not sure If I mentioned this in a previous post.) Course, I'm virutally broke now - i NEED to sell my car... sell X Dolls... Get Rick to finally frikking pay me back.... all of the above...

I have been trying to keep up with my drawing also, Put together a small portfolio - I like how it's progressing. Heather's been really supportive and I LOVE how our collaborative pieces look - esp when she colors (I feel almost guilty for her doing the color job on my pencils - She's gotten SO good with Photoshop! But she says she dosn't mind - I hope she dosn't feel too overwhelmed with all the drawings she has planned.)

In other news, I unexpectedly got the Color Brian LeBlanc commission in the mail today ^^. I hadn't heard from him since he sent me the pencil sketch. Sabin turned out REALLY nice - the colors look great and it's realy how I imagined it. The "dramatic anju in the background... unfortunately... looks a bit gimpy. It's very outlined and simplified w/o any wafting shadows which gives it a very... I dunno... sesame street look. Cest La Vie... I still like the piece in general.

And as far as other projects other than drawing.... well... yes, actually, I do have plans to work on THE story... It's been going very slow, yes, but I have Great Plans (and lots of pipe dreams.) But, It is a goal for me, and, eventually, someday, I will see it completed. It is a wonderful story, and it deserves to be told. I had started an outline for a canon storyline to be written in book format about six months or so again, beginng back before the Victorian campaign started, streamlining Sabin's backstory with the previous campaign, fitting it better to the timeperiod and fixing up some of the things that were never explained, didn't make sense, or plain just didn't fit the setting. I actually opened it up again last week after I heard a negative reply from the Bush School.... if I can't fulfill one dream... Dammit I'll see this one through... my real DREAM. I've almost caught up to the begining of the VL chronicle... I can probably catch up to that by tonight... You're probably thinking "ooh.. that's not much" but, hey, my "outline" is pretty in-depth... makes sure I remember everything I want to cover later when I actually write it out, whether or not the Pre-campaign will ever be written out in tiself or just flashed back to in the main storyline, we'll see. But I like the way it's worked out - it's clean, it makes sense, and there's LOTS of links to later plots in the campaign.
Yes, it wont' be just like the way the campaign's gone, things will be streamlined, edited to better fit the setting and storyline, and some characters will be dropped entirely (mainly ones that lasted less than 5 sessions.) I also want to make the story OURS (Well, Sam, Tavis's and mine.... we'll be collaborating on geting it written.) Anywho, as to the specific character asked about, no, she won't be dropped... changed a bit to better integrate the setting, yes, but the spirit will be there.
I like how it's coming, and I really like rethinking the campaign from a Story-plot pov, what would work as a book - an underlying plot and drama - with our characters :)

ANywho - Enough rant for one night.

RPing and Quizlets.

2003-03-17T07:57:20Z

Yay Quizlets.

I'm strange in the fact that I -have- to be multitasking. Not just 2 things usually either - I always have Winamp on in the background - I love music and when I'm at home I always have it going except when I go to bed... mainly because I have the paranoia that it will drown out my alarm in the morning... that and with my ecclectic tastes there's always usually one louder, chatty song that would keep me up (It takes me long enough as it is to fall asleep... I love to daydream... er... welll... nightdream as I go to sleep and I'm usually awake for at least an hour normally after I've "Gone to bed".) Aside from winamp, I'm currently RPing... which I love, but not everyone types as fast as I do, and they're usually multitasking as well... which... well... you can see how that goes. Plus I'm GMing Fae - which has been LOADS of fun :). It's so neat to see how the plans are coming together that Sam and I (who are co-Gming) have been planning since Christmas- getting everything written down and seeing how the players are handling these unexpected situations in AND out of character :) I used to be so paranoid about GMing... that and I loved playing - I would come up with cool character concepts that I'd get attached to, and I liked to see how the story unraveled, thinking my way through situations. But Sarah's right, I love to storytell, and with all of my gaming background (seriously RPing with actual gaming groups since I was 14... "lunchroom D&D" since way before that. All, interstingly enough, stemming from my fascination with monsters and magical creatures - loved Flight of Dragons and The Last Unicorn as a kid... bought Mosterous Manuals, etc waaay back when, just developed from there.) Anywho- back to the point - I love gaming, and I've really been enjoying Fae in the Campaign ^^. But, always have to have something else going on in the background - be it emails, Ebay (bad), making wishlists at Amazon.com, just netsurfing, and now, quizlets and writing in me journal :)

So, here's some fun quiz results as I play out Elly and William in Fae *evil grin* Assuming that is that the server's lag dosn't kill me first. I've taken a lot of the other quizzes on peoples' journals before I had one of my own, so instead of going back and retaking a lot, I decided to search out a few more as well as some of the more interesting repeats.

No picture on this one, but ah well. "which High School Stereotype"
GAMER- Got a few decks of Magic? A few books of
D&D? That's what I thought. You probably own
the Directors Edition of LOTR too. You're
hilarious and have a lot of cool philosophies.
You probably scare a lot of people though, but
that's okay because you enjoy it. You don't
have many ambitions...if any...but you enjoy
kicking ass while gaming.

!!!!Which High School Stereotype are You? (in depth)!!!!
brought to you by Quizilla

A Neat Changeling quizlet:

Eshu
Traveling minstrel, adventurer, storyteller and
poet, you bring dreams and news to all corners
of the world. A natural traveler and collector
of experiences, you are always welcome at any
gathering and are often the center of attention
as you spin your latest entrancing tale. Light
on your feet, light on possessions and long on
advise, you are well-respected and admired.

What kind of Changeling are you?
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This fits for only a 3-question quiz:

You are a dark writer. A fierce and loyal follower
of Poe and the other gothic authors, you LOVE
to instill a sense of revulsion and somewhat
fear in your readers. You love to poke their
brains with logic dealing with the darker side
of the human mind and character. Truly
surprising and a true individual, you'll do
ANYTHING to create a scene. :)

What's YOUR Writing Style?
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You are an Elf! Elves are full of delight and
wonder. They are immortal, light-footed, and
have unnaturally keen sight and hearing.

Which of J.R.R. Tolkien's Magical Creatures from the Lord of the Rings Trilogy Are You?
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Well... Things came up.... things got cut short.... long discussions were had before I could finish... I'll talk later, mayhaps - I just listened a lot and have given my opinions.

sabin_duvert @ 2003-03-16T04:41:00

2003-03-16T10:43:19Z

Well, I've done many of these before.... though maybe I'd post a few.
I like this one. very fitting:

Goddess of the Night. Beautiful yet a strange
darkness and sadness lurk about you.

What element would you rein over? (For Girls)
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"Goddess of the Night. Beautiful yet a strange darkness and sadness lurk about you. "

Perhaps I'll go quizlet crazy soon and post more.